January 26, 2010
Ok...I mustered up enough will to rent and sit down to watch Michael Jackson's last performance documentary, "This is It." I emphasize the "muster" part, as it was difficult to bring myself to view the last living footage of a person so internally tormented. I will not detail, in this blog, the uneasiness I feel regarding the man's alleged sexual deviance-- as I do not want to feed into either side of the persecution, be it truth or falsehood. Instead, I choose to ink out this topic out of pity for the man's life under the rule of an industry so corrupt, a father so tyrannically abusive, and friends and hangers-on so sheepishly well-wishing.
Regardless of the tabloid rumors and allegations against the man, this was a person endowed with a gift most of us would barter with Satan to possess. His musical inspiration was just that...inspired. It was as if the man's own being was touched by some ethereal force, and the musical end result was instant satisfaction to the core.
This man's life and death mark an indictment of corporate greed. The industry surrounded him with mealy-mouthed sycophants all too quick to cater to his every whim, while simultaneously dousing his insides with consistently heavy doses of regulated meds to silence his cries. Then...the coup de grace...after his passing, the "estate" reaps even more of the benefits of his misfortune by circulating this final documentary. Commercial media sickly feeds into the frenzy, hyping it as a tribute!
As I sat there and watched the first 50 or so minutes of the film unfold, I found myself becoming more and more nauseatingly distressed. I had to cease my viewing...I couldn't watch anymore. I felt like a voyeur watching a "snuff" film of a man in an overtly pained state, moments before his own death. The media outlets touted this film as one of the best of its kind, and exclaimed Michael never looked more energetic-- leaving his own dancers, most 20 years or more his junior, in his frenzied dust, reminiscent of his heyday. I, on the other hand, the common viewer, saw a much different portrayal onscreen. I saw a skeletal figure of a person I once new as the "King of Pop" masquerade around dark sets with very fleeting energy. His comments were often so incoherent that subtitles were needed. I realize rehearsal does not require full-bore energy, nor does it enforce the entertainer to hit the marks-- but, Michael's performance during these sessions felt lifeless and flailing, as if he required resuscitation.
And, as we all gravely came to find out, Michael did need resuscitation. But, who would dare interrupt the money-making machine? Keep the talent, keep it quiet, and keep it green. As I iterate these thoughts, I'm turning green...with nausea. Michael was a product. His father saw the potential, raped it, his family enabled it, and the corporate machine ultimately digested it...so that all you could see at the end was a boy in a quasi-man's suit, grossly disfigured on the inside and out. He became a brand...a charicature of what he was supposed to be.
Rather than analyze the figure of Michael that was created and all of his various publicly branded pseudonyms, I choose to remember an individual so graced with an innate gift. I hope that, out there somewhere, beyond the American Idol auditions and the endless waves of pointless reality shows (both just bastardizations of early Motown and other empires of its kind), individuals exist with these gifts who have had parents strong enough to resist the fame / power push and parents strong-willed enough to grace their gifted children with choice. In this world, authenticity doesn't receive a golden ticket or the right to negotiate a multi-million dollar contract for ultimately abandoning a family of eight , wife not included. Authenticity is power, my friends. Michael had it-- unfortunately, it was discovered too young and without any regard for the individual possessing it.
Some people ultimately serve to simply...inspire.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
The Driving Experience
Monday, January 25, 2010
This is my first attempt into the blogging world. I truly didn't consciously outline what I wanted to say, so I begin in a very familiar area in my life...reality.
Yes, reality is a word to which few people can assimilate. It functions in most circles as a taboo sanctity of which no one truly speaks. If you dare to speak what is real, others mock you, and label you a cynic...negative...or the ever-marring "gloomy gus." Well, as you will soon determine from my writing, I am not afraid to speak the truth (or what I feel is the truth), nor do I fear treading on the razor's edge of what we live in and what truly is.
And, I do think that truth is a feeling...it is a feeling lost to the daily monotonous programming of this matrix we call "life." Everyone should actively try this next suggestion. I'm sure everyone has experienced this, but, at the time, didn't consciously dwell upon it. Go on a vacation...if you can get so lucky. Try to spend at least 3-4 days away from the haunts of the daily grind. I mean: Escape the drilling alarm clock sound, the television, the television commercials, the feeling of urgency to leave the house to beat the traffic, the traffic, the deadlines, what to cook for dinner, what others suggest you cook for dinner, the endless loops of radio commercials on the drive to and from work, and the endless drivel spewed from the orifices of everyone getting paid to promote their product. If you do this, within a few days of no urgent cellphone calls or work emergencies, a weight lifts from your shoulders. You actually begin to feel...lighter. This weight that is lifted is what I call "The Driving Experience."
All things in life can be equated or even analogized to what one experiences from driving on the roads. Think of the worst driving experience you have encountered. Now, imagine this experience accumulating...not only on you...but, on everyone that experiences it....in their own ways. Since I had first gotten my license and pulled off for the first time on my own in my parents' car that sunny August morning so long ago, I have yet to encounter a truly good driving experience. I feel heavy, "weighed-down," and lethargic as I push through traffic.
This "driving" feeling is a more acute experience of the subtle drowning we experience by living our everyday lives. Subliminal messaging, corporate behavior programming at our workplace (e.g., use "accountable"-- not "responsible," use fancy terminology like "symmetry" and "working cash flow"), commercial marketing, and on and on and on. If one truly dwelled on the garbage-in, garbage-out function of this daily sequence of operations from the corporate machine we call life, one would realize that we are "used" vessels....used for someone..or something...else's advantage.
Now, drive back to my original suggestion....take a vacation. It doesn't need to be extravagant. It could just be a weekend get-away....just as long as you escape the aforementioned daily occurrences. And, I would strongly suggest, at the very least, leaving your cellphone, blackberry, or any other communication to the everyday world on mute. This is your vacation experiment...an experiment to combat the driving experience...in order to bring you closer to some faction of truth. As I said, you will naturally, if you allow yourself, begin to feel the burden of life exit from your body after a couple days of this solitude.
A sense of intuition will come back to you. And, when I say "come back," I mean "come back." The daily corporate programming suppresses your natural inclination to "read" things for what they really are. The world we see with our eyes is far different from the world that really is...they don't want you to see what really is. When I say "they," I mean everyone and everything acting as painters of your personal reality. You, yourself, should be your own artist. On this experiment, you will re-gain the ability to paint for yourself. You will be allowing that secret place in yourself that has been buried for so long to emerge as a creative and intuitive function.
I am in no way promoting the permanent escape from the painted reality. In order to experience true reality, you must recognize the difference between the two realms. When you return from your experiment, as anyone does after a vacation, you will naturally feel "re-charged." And, many feel a sense of depression at the same time, as you must return to what you've always believed is reality. But, I'm telling you, the reality that has been programmed to which we return with sadness, is not truth. This, in itself, should elevate your senses. The mere suggestion of a real reality that opens itself to the endless possibility of self-creation and true beauty...makes it exist. The knowing is the first step to battling the driving experience. Know that it exists.
Stay tuned for what we need to do with this knowledge.
This is my first attempt into the blogging world. I truly didn't consciously outline what I wanted to say, so I begin in a very familiar area in my life...reality.
Yes, reality is a word to which few people can assimilate. It functions in most circles as a taboo sanctity of which no one truly speaks. If you dare to speak what is real, others mock you, and label you a cynic...negative...or the ever-marring "gloomy gus." Well, as you will soon determine from my writing, I am not afraid to speak the truth (or what I feel is the truth), nor do I fear treading on the razor's edge of what we live in and what truly is.
And, I do think that truth is a feeling...it is a feeling lost to the daily monotonous programming of this matrix we call "life." Everyone should actively try this next suggestion. I'm sure everyone has experienced this, but, at the time, didn't consciously dwell upon it. Go on a vacation...if you can get so lucky. Try to spend at least 3-4 days away from the haunts of the daily grind. I mean: Escape the drilling alarm clock sound, the television, the television commercials, the feeling of urgency to leave the house to beat the traffic, the traffic, the deadlines, what to cook for dinner, what others suggest you cook for dinner, the endless loops of radio commercials on the drive to and from work, and the endless drivel spewed from the orifices of everyone getting paid to promote their product. If you do this, within a few days of no urgent cellphone calls or work emergencies, a weight lifts from your shoulders. You actually begin to feel...lighter. This weight that is lifted is what I call "The Driving Experience."
All things in life can be equated or even analogized to what one experiences from driving on the roads. Think of the worst driving experience you have encountered. Now, imagine this experience accumulating...not only on you...but, on everyone that experiences it....in their own ways. Since I had first gotten my license and pulled off for the first time on my own in my parents' car that sunny August morning so long ago, I have yet to encounter a truly good driving experience. I feel heavy, "weighed-down," and lethargic as I push through traffic.
This "driving" feeling is a more acute experience of the subtle drowning we experience by living our everyday lives. Subliminal messaging, corporate behavior programming at our workplace (e.g., use "accountable"-- not "responsible," use fancy terminology like "symmetry" and "working cash flow"), commercial marketing, and on and on and on. If one truly dwelled on the garbage-in, garbage-out function of this daily sequence of operations from the corporate machine we call life, one would realize that we are "used" vessels....used for someone..or something...else's advantage.
Now, drive back to my original suggestion....take a vacation. It doesn't need to be extravagant. It could just be a weekend get-away....just as long as you escape the aforementioned daily occurrences. And, I would strongly suggest, at the very least, leaving your cellphone, blackberry, or any other communication to the everyday world on mute. This is your vacation experiment...an experiment to combat the driving experience...in order to bring you closer to some faction of truth. As I said, you will naturally, if you allow yourself, begin to feel the burden of life exit from your body after a couple days of this solitude.
A sense of intuition will come back to you. And, when I say "come back," I mean "come back." The daily corporate programming suppresses your natural inclination to "read" things for what they really are. The world we see with our eyes is far different from the world that really is...they don't want you to see what really is. When I say "they," I mean everyone and everything acting as painters of your personal reality. You, yourself, should be your own artist. On this experiment, you will re-gain the ability to paint for yourself. You will be allowing that secret place in yourself that has been buried for so long to emerge as a creative and intuitive function.
I am in no way promoting the permanent escape from the painted reality. In order to experience true reality, you must recognize the difference between the two realms. When you return from your experiment, as anyone does after a vacation, you will naturally feel "re-charged." And, many feel a sense of depression at the same time, as you must return to what you've always believed is reality. But, I'm telling you, the reality that has been programmed to which we return with sadness, is not truth. This, in itself, should elevate your senses. The mere suggestion of a real reality that opens itself to the endless possibility of self-creation and true beauty...makes it exist. The knowing is the first step to battling the driving experience. Know that it exists.
Stay tuned for what we need to do with this knowledge.
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